


16) Clutter

by Iarollane



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hawke (Dragon Age) Has a Twin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23950102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iarollane/pseuds/Iarollane
Summary: Another post- Leandra's death, but this time from Garren's perspective.
Relationships: Hawke/Merrill
Collections: Fulfilled prompts from various people





	16) Clutter

  
He needed to get out of Kirkwall. 

He could feel everything weighing down on him; the stares of Anders and Fenris, condemning him. The disappointment of Aveline. The tears of Mariah. 

The open, empty eyes of his mother. 

His fists clenched, he headed for the gates out of the city. Something in his face must have told everyone to get out of his way, because not a single soul tried to stop him. Just as well. He didn't know what he'd do if anyone tried.

A small hand slipped around his fist, not forcing him to accept comfort but offering it all the same. He glanced to the side, unsurprised to see Merrill. She was uncharacteristically somber. She was pretty, in that pixie way, but when she smiled her whole body suffused with joy. 

Just being near her helped smooth some of the cracks in his soul. 

"Was there somewhere in particular you were headed, Garren?" Her voice was soft. He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak yet. The last words he'd said had been a lie, thrown in his sister's face. Because why wouldn't he ruin the last bit of family he had left?

"Come on, then. There's a place I want to show you. It's not far from the city." She tugged on his arm, gently guiding him away from the pressure and noise of Kirkwall. 

He let her lead him, the warmth of her hand in his. The worried glances she threw over her shoulder were both balm and stabs of pain; he loved that she cared enough to worry, hated that he'd caused her to. 

After a time, she came to a stop. Garren finally noticed where she'd brought him. It was a small grove, perched near the top of a cliff, protected from storms by a spire of stone. It had a perfect view of the water, and only one sunken mast that he could see, far off to the side. 

Garren could feel the tension in his shoulders slowly loosen. "Thank you, Merrill," he said quietly. 

"I like to come here, sometimes, when the noise in the alienage gets to be too much." She sat, beneath an oak that seemed older than the rest of the trees, and patted the ground beside her. Garren sank down, not caring that his pants would be covered in dirt in no time at all. He was with Merrill; she made everything feel a little bit normal again. 

"You're carrying a lot of pain." She pushed a lock of his dark red hair out of his eyes. "I'm not going to tell you it'll go away. You already know it won't." She took his hands, rising to her knees in front of him. "Instead, I want to teach you a technique I learned. It helps to... clear the clutter, in your mind."

He raised an eyebrow. "My head isn't an unkempt house, Merrill," he said dryly.

"But it is, sort of." She gestured to his forehead. "If your mind is filled with things that you can't help but trip over, then they'll always be in the forefront, in the way. Like if you left a pile of dirty laundry in your bedroom. It gets trampled underfoot constantly, until someday you learn to ignore it, and walk over it; or you can deal with it, put it away, so that you're free to go on to other things." 

"So now my problems are discarded clothes?"

"That's not what I meant!" she said defensively. She looked down at their hands. "I'm only trying to help." She started to pull away. 

He caught her hand, looking ashamed. "I know. I'm sorry." He cleared his throat. "So what's this technique?" he asked. 

She gave him a little smile. "Close your eyes," she said. "Now, listen to the trees, and the waves." He started to sigh, not seeing the point. "No, really listen. Concentrate! Let the sounds of the wind brushing the leaves fill you. Imagine you're on the shore, with the waves lapping at your feet."

She continued to instruct him, voice soft, hands stroking his. "Sit in the surf in your mind, and let the water take everything. Every thought, dissolved and carried away."

She could see when he had relaxed, the hard lines in his face softening. He was breathing deeply, softly, for the first time in what felt like forever.

He let out a soft snore, making Merrill start in surprise. She giggled, then eased him back, til he was lying flat. "Love you, Garren," she whispered, kissing him gently. She tucked herself under his arm, laying her head on his chest, and let the sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep.


End file.
